


What you think I need

by beatriceHB



Series: All that glitters [1]
Category: Black Sails
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-16
Updated: 2015-05-16
Packaged: 2018-03-30 20:44:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3951112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beatriceHB/pseuds/beatriceHB
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With Thomas Hamilton on his mind, Flint finds himself opening up to Billy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What you think I need

At the entrance to the hut, Flint stood scowling, waiting for the men to notice him and fall quiet. Even from a few yards away, he could almost smell Billy’s fear. But even as Flint relished the tension his presence created, he noticed something in Billy’s expression. Not just fear or apprehension, but some kind of excitement at seeing his Captain again.

For a brief moment it astonished him. Did the big dumb boy remember nothing of the events that had landed him in the sea? Flint’s hand finding his own, gripping it tightly, and then so suddenly letting go. Attempted murder isn’t the sort of thing you expect a hot-headed young man to forgive. Christ, any man. 

Perhaps Billy’s time in chains had convinced him that Flint had the right of it, that his actions were justified? Even so, it was hard to allow. But whatever the reason, he couldn’t deny that the sight of those round anxious eyes, and the unsuspected warmth they held for him, were throwing him off balance. He offered Billy his hand, intent on a cold handshake. But when the taller man’s hand was in his own, the almost imperceptible trembling of it made Flint flush suddenly with feeling. It took every ounce of strength he had to keep the emotion from showing on his face. Billy couldn’t be allowed to see just how badly Flint had missed him, and hoped that somehow he’d survived.

He found himself pulling Billy into a tight embrace, and once there couldn’t quite seem to let him go. As the moments passed, he willed himself to release the boy, felt the crew’s eyes lingering on them both, perhaps questioning? With lips pressed close to Billy’s ear, close enough to kiss, he said “it’s good to have you back”, and then finally managed to release the man and step away. But not before his cock had twitched painfully, in a way that Billy could hardly have failed to notice at such close proximity. 

Soon after, as he sat alone in his headquarters on the beach, Flint took a moment to replay the encounter in his head. 

‘Damn the man, I held him too long, too close!’ his hand began to worry at his beard, as it always did in moments of disquiet. Why must Billy be so tall, so visibly powerful. He towered over Flint as Thomas had once done, and when they stood close the comparison often forced Flint to avert his eyes, or risk giving himself away. Billy may not have come close to Thomas in intellect, but he was his equal in fundamental goodness. To gaze upward and see affection in another man’s eyes was sometimes more than Flint could bear.

He stalked angrily to the cabinet where he kept a supply of strong drink, and poured himself a tall glass of something powerful and astringent. It burned down his throat, felt like it was doing him harm. Fine. He needed it to take effect, and quickly. Sitting down heavily in his chair, he chose to give way a little, and let images from the past fill his head. The ones he found hardest to suppress. At the height of his affair with Thomas Hamilton, he’d been capable of acts of love, and trust, and supplication, he could barely imagine now. 

Memory took Flint back to a morning years ago, just before dawn, when he’d awoken to find Thomas lying next to him, propped up on one elbow, naked and beautiful as a statue…

…The pale light seemed to make his lean body glow, picking out the slick of precum on his erection like a trail of pearls. Thomas stroked up and down its length unhurriedly, his eyes smiling, taking in every warm inch of Flint’s own muscular form as he did so. Aroused to distraction, Flint sat up quickly and pushed Thomas back against the warm sheets. He began to kiss Thomas’s thighs, first the lightest brush of his lips, and then harder and harder, inching up deliciously slowly. With every nip and bite, he came closer to the base of Thomas’s cock, eliciting quiet moans of encouragement from the older man. Without breaking eye contact, he began licking and sucking its length, the familiar taste and scent filling his nose and intoxicating him. Knowing how desperate, and how subservient he must look in this state, he finally took his lover deep into his throat…

The memory of that sensation came once again to Flint, unbidden, and as the drink began to blur his mind, he found his mouth had fallen open as though Thomas were still inside him, filling and completing him.

….He had to go gently, Thomas was so sensitive there, sensitive everywhere. Even the slowest, softest strokes of Flint’s tongue, could make him climax with a force and intensity that shocked them both. This time, as Thomas began to buck and kick against his tongue, Flint was overcome by lust and want, the need to show himself lesser than his lover. In one quick motion, he slipped Thomas’s cock out of his mouth and rolled over onto his back. He ran a finger around its slick head and then whispered where he wanted Thomas to come. With love and understanding in his eyes, Thomas climbed up onto his knees, straddled Flint’s upper body, and pumped himself through his own fist until his climax was spilling out of him. Hot splashes fell all over Flint’s face, making him moan in pure bliss. It ran down his nose and chin, along his jawline and into his hair, he held his mouth open to catch as much as he could, licking his lips and relishing the taste, and feeling his own release come as Thomas bent down to lick him clean, like a cat….

Lost in his reverie, Flint gave a start at the sound of heavy boots clattering into the room behind him. “Captain? It’s me.” 

Flint exhaled, and felt grateful that he wasn’t entirely sober. For a long silent pause, he remained seated, giving Billy no acknowledgement beyond a slight twist of his head. ‘He can wait’ he thought, as he pondered how the boy might react to the visible swell in his trousers, if he were to stand up, turn around, and let him see it. Perhaps it was the drink making him unwary, but part of him wanted Billy to see, wanted to show that he was human after all. What the fuck did he expect to find Flint doing in the privacy of his own rooms? He was a man wasn’t he? He could get hard when and where he wanted. Shit, half the crew was more up than down. Would it have been better somehow if he’d been caught tipping a whore on his desk, rather than alone, drunk, and aroused by his memories? Probably.

“Um, Captain? I just wanted to make sure that I’ve been clear. That I’m supporting you.” Pause. “In the vote?” 

Flint remained silent. He poured himself another drink.

“I’d really feel better if you said something” Billy’s voice was becoming angered “because this whole brooding silence thing is making me fucking nervous. I don’t know where we stand right now, and you’re not helping.” 

Inside Flint, caution lost the battle. He stood up, downed his drink in one, and slowly turned around. Billy stood as he always did, his expression perplexed, his arms crossed over his body, his whole posture a little stooped as if apologetic for the height advantage he held over his Captain. Flint waited for Billy to register the thick swell pressing out just beneath the line of his belt. He couldn’t help a rakish grin from creeping onto his face, as Billy’s eyes opened impossibly wide. 

“Oh Billy, I wish I had fifty men like you. Do you know why?” 

Billy gulped and shook his head. 

Flint thought, ‘because you’re beautiful, and I can see that you want me.’ 

He said “Because I can read you like a fucking book, you know that? Every single thought you have is visible on your face. You’d forgive me anything if I bent you over this desk right now, and fucked you as well as you know I would.” He winked, enjoying Billy’s discomfort.

Fucking him wasn’t a half bad idea really, when it came to it. So why not do it? Take the edge off his nerves.

Billy’s cheeks flushed pink and hot, which provoked wry chuckle from Flint. He began to advance on the quivering man, intending to either take him roughly, or chase him out. But before he had gone more than two steps, he felt himself stumbling. 

Bloody drink, how strong was that shit?’ 

Before he could right himself, Billy’s strong arms were about him, holding him tightly so that he couldn’t fall. He looked up at Billy, momentarily confused and vulnerable, and saw the taller man’s eyes gazing down at him, concerned and tender. Without giving his brain a chance to intervene, he tipped his head back, and closed his eyes. It was all the invitation Billy needed. When Flint felt the other man’s lips press softy into his own, the sensation travelled white hot down his spine and started a delicious tingling which spread from the base of his cock to somewhere deep inside – the spot that Thomas had found so often, so skillfully. Billy’s strong arms continued to hold him tightly, even as the ground beneath Flint’s feet seemed to melt away. 

In between kisses, Billy’s breath was hot against Flint’s face, and he could feel the rapid beating of Billy’s heart in his chest as it pressed into his own. A broad hand caressed the back of Flint’s neck, the second found its way to his belt buckle and rapidly worked it loose. If there was any time to turn back, it was now or never.

“No” he said quietly.. backing away. “No!” louder this time, as he turned and raked his hands through his hair. 

“Captain.. don’t do this” Billy sounded exasperated and sad. He grabbed Flint’s upper arm to prevent him from walking away, and slowly closed the space between them, creeping like a hunter fearful of spooking a wild animal.

Flint kept his face turned away but made no attempt to withdraw further, allowing Billy’s mouth to press lightly against the shell of his ear. “Yeah, you could have me roughly, all nervous and tight” Billy whispered, pausing to kiss the warmth of Flint’s neck, where perspiration had begun to form. “Maybe you’d even enjoy it just a bit. But I know you, I’ve seen you.. more than you realise. Let me take care of you, take away your control. It’s not like it ever gives you happiness. Fuck it Flint, how can I make you understand? I just want to give you what you need. Please just trust me long enough to let me do it?” His tone was pleading. 

“I don’t know what you think I need. What you think you know about me.” Flint’s voice was threatening to break. “If there ever was a part of me..” He put his hand up to his mouth to stop the words, but as he did so turned to look Billy directly in the eyes. What he saw there broke him.

“I… oh!” with both hands he reached up and pulled Billy towards him. As he took the boy’s tongue into his mouth, sucking on it with urgent force, he felt Billy’s arms encircling him, the pressure of strong hands against the contours of his back. Billy’s hands moved down and caught the ends of Flint’s shirt, pulling it up and over his head as Flint raised his arms obediently to allow it. In the candlelight, Flint’s taught upper body glistened. He turned his head away a little, his eyes snaking back and forth in self-consciousness as the boy stared at him, eyes hooded, exploring Flint’s chest with his fingertips. Swallowing nervously, Billy brought his thumb up to his mouth and licked it. What did he mean to do? Flint closed his eyes, and suddenly felt a wet sensation on his nipple, ever so slightly rough but gentle too. As Billy stroked and gently circled it, kissing Flint’s ear and his neck all the while, he drew an exhalation of bliss from Flint, and caused his cock to stiffen too, wanting the same attention. 

Flint pressed his hips into Billy, feeling his crew-mate’s erection pushing outward to meet him. Could it be even harder than his own? Just the thought of it made him desperate for skin contact, but as he reached down to free Billy’s cock with his hands, Billy pushed him away. 

“You first” he said, as he loosened Flint’s belt and pushed his trousers down over this thighs. To his surprise, Flint allowed Billy to push him down onto a chair, and strip him until he was entirely naked. With the taller man looking down on him, and still fully clothed, Flint felt utterly exposed. Without the costume of a pirate captain to hide behind, he wasn’t sure what he was. The lamplight illuminated every scar, every bruise on his body. He was aware that the tip of his erection was already wet. 

Billy took a step closer and rested a knee on the edge of Flint’s chair. With his left hand on Flint’s shoulder, gently restraining him, he used his right to free his cock and began stroking up and down its length. Flint was now the one to be wide-eyed, as he took in the sight of Billy sliding his hips back and forth. He had often wondered if the man’s cock was in proportion to his height and build. Now he had his answer.

In response, Flint began to attend to his own length, encircling its head with thumb and forefinger, and flicking in a steady rhythm, the slippery precum lubricating his strokes. His back began to arch and twist, his eyes were fixed on Billy’s cock and he couldn’t help picturing it shooting all over him, wondering where on his body he would catch it.

Billy suddenly caught his breath and Flint braced in anticipation. But the boy had stopped just in time. He bent down and lifted Flint’s face towards him, forcing him to look up directly into his eyes. 

“Come to bed with me Captain.” 

A lump formed in Flint’s throat, as big as a boulder. If he lay down with Billy now, in soft sheets, and allowed himself to be taken tenderly. Who would he be when he got up? 

As if anticipating Flint’s hesitation, Billy reached down to take his hand, pulling him to his feet. He led him to the bed in the corner, where Flint took some rest whenever he was able. It was small, but clean, and there was just room for the two of them. 

Flint’s first act was to roll over, and bury his face in the pillow. He lay there, a breeze pricking the hairs on the backs of his legs, listening to the sound of Billy’s clothes coming off and hitting the floor. Then another sound, one he remembered from many years ago, the stopper coming out of a bottle, and oil being applied to hot skin. He felt the bed sink down as Billy climbed on after him, and he braced again in anticipation of a quick penetration. Hoping that perhaps if he didn’t see it happening, it would somehow be ok.

“No Captain, I don’t want you like that. I want to see your face. I want you to see mine.” 

With arms that were almost too strong to resist, had he wanted to, Billy pulled Flint around to face him. He spread his legs, and pushed one of Flint's knees up into his chest, fully exposing him. With a thumb still slippery with oil, he stroked the tight pink hole slowly and firmly, up and down, his tenderness seeming to magnify the sensation for the Captain, who balled his fists and twisted his body in response. 

Flint’s mouth was open, and his breathing was shallow. He knew his need was written all over his face. 

“Do you want me?” Billy said, needing to hear Flint say it out loud.

“Please!” The gruffness was gone from Flint’s voice, the tone was all wrong, he wondered how far Billy would take this.

His thoughts were answered by a more forceful stroke of Billy’s thumb, which slipped inside and began to work against the resistance it found. Preparing Flint to take something so much bigger.

When the head of Billy’s cock touched him, Flint couldn’t help but push up against it. But Billy kept moving it around, teasing him with it, making him wait.

Finally he could wait no longer “Billy, I swear to god if you fuck me now I’ll forgive it, you have my word.”

Billy’s answer came swiftly, and with force. Even after his preparation, the width of Billy’s cock was almost impossible to take. Flint felt Billy trying to enter him, meeting tightness and resistance, and for a moment he feared he would never be able to accommodate him. But then suddenly the tension gave way, and Billy sank into him so quickly and deeply, it almost made him cry out. The feeling was like nothing he’d known before. Billy moved slowly at first, maybe he was used to having to do so? Flint felt himself stretched impossibly wide, and penetrated to such an extent, he half expected to feel the tip of Billy’s cock at the back of his throat.

As his desire began to build, Billy set a more urgent pace. The speed of his thrusts and their increasing force created a blissful heat in Flint, as Billy found the sweet spot inside him, hitting it over and over with surety. Their bodies quickly found a rhythm, and the longer it went on, the harder and faster Flint wanted it. Suddenly emboldened and uncaring, he let himself moan and cry out “come on, come on!” he didn’t care who heard, what they thought of him. For the first time in so long, he felt entirely himself. He found himself smiling. “Harder damn you, is that all you’ve got!”, urging Billy to finish, to release himself inside. To be the cause of that beautiful man’s climax, oh god. 

“Ahh!” Billy shuddered above him and gave a thrust so strong it had to be his release. Billy’s cock pulsed and pumped deep inside his Captain, he dipped his head and kissed Flint’s mouth again and again. “I fucking love you, I fucking love you. Oh shit, oh shit.” 

It took just three pumps of his own cock through his hand for Flint to come too. His muscles, stretched wide around Billy’s thickness, began to contract, creating a wave of white heat, made all the more intense by the sight of Billy’s face above him, contorted in something like pain. At his peak, Flint threw his head back and growled, feeling the splashes of his own release spray onto his chest. 

Billy smiled down at him, his eyes intoxicated and sleepy, “that’s how you look just after a really good fight.”

Flint laughed, he could feel himself panting, his mouth open and teeth bared. Billy was probably right.

He pulled Billy down to lie next to him, and wrapped his arms around the younger man. He was shivering, as the perspiration all over his body began to cool. They lay that way for a long while, waiting for their pulses to slow, their breathing to regulate. Eventually, Flint felt Billy go soft in his arms, his breathing lengthen and deepen. As the boy fell asleep, he wished fervently that things between them could stay this way. 

He hadn’t intended to lie. The plan was to let this go, just ride out any consequences. But as his passion cooled and reality crept back in, Flint concluded that the stakes were too high. He’d come too far, to risk it all for a moment of sweetness. It was an impossibility.

Flint eased himself out of Billy’s embrace and soundlessly dressed beside him. As each layer went on, he felt his resolve returning. His reputation was vital, and hard won. It had to be secured, whatever the cost to him, or the ones he loved, in his way.

After one last lingering look at Billy, his face peaceful and satiated, Flint did what needed to be done. Billy woke with a start as Flint pinned him down, he tried to cry out but Flint’s hand was pressed tightly against his mouth.

“You asked me to trust you” he whispered, inches from Billy’s terrified face “and I did. But you must have known that it would come at a cost.” Before Billy could make any sound, Flint punched him hard in the face, drawing blood from his nose. White with shock, Billy leapt up at Flint, trying to retaliate, but Flint had already stepped back, his hands in the air.

“That’s all I needed to do Billy, there’s no more to come, no need to fight me.”

Billy stood staring at him, his expression utterly incredulous. “What the fuck was that!”

Flint sounded coldly rational. “The men will have heard something of what happened here tonight. Raised voices, someone crying out. I think it’s best they come to the conclusion that we were fighting, don’t you? And now, you look the part.”

Billy scoffed, his mouth still open in shock. 

“What passed between us” Flint continued, “I make no apology for. I just can’t see myself explaining it to the crew, without losing some of my authority. And I can’t afford that, certainly not now.”

“Fucking hell” said Billy, “you can just turn it off can’t you?” He hung his head, and looked so dejected, Flint had to fight the urge to run over, apologise and hold Billy tight until he smiled again. Instead he remained silent, his face expressionless.

After a moment, Billy seemed to recover himself. 

“Well” he said “you can punch me as hard and as often as you like, but it won’t change the fact that you wanted this, and you needed it. You’re a vicious cunt, but that’s not all you are. And the sooner you can find a way of reconciling both sides of yourself, the easier all our lives will be.”

“I wish that were possible Billy.”

Billy sighed “I can wait. Where the fuck else am I going to go?”

**Author's Note:**

> My first attempt at anything like this ever! Just so inspired by Flint's character I had to try and write something.


End file.
